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Saturday Night Live: “Sarah Silverman/Maroon 5”

  • on Wednesday!
  • According to the cue cards, the only words remaining in Silverman’s censored joke are “black guy” and “God’s mouth.”
  • “Let’s get at least four more presidents—even if they have to be girls.”
  • “It makes a very subtle sound. And it grates cheese, and it’s also a woman.”
  • “It was one night, it was magical, and it was poorly attended.”
  • “Audiences tuned in in what ever the opposite of droves is.”
  • “Don’t you yell at Adam Levine, he has done nothing wrong!”
  • “If doctors know so much, then why is my doctor dead from ebola?”
  • “Why was the CIA on Tinder?’ “That’s not important.”
  • “I spent three days watching him eat shrimp like he had a gun to his head.”
  • “Hearing good stuff about Sharia law. Ima check it out.”
  • Darrell Hammond’s introductions continue to be overwhelmed by the backing music. Hey, if I’m paid to critique SNL, I’m going wall-to-wall.
  • The new policy of showing classic SNL episodes at 10 p.m. continues to make me laugh-cry. I’m going to compile an un-ironic “Best of Garett Morris” DVD at some point, with his understanding Cliff in tonight’s “Wild And Crazy Guys” sketch at the top. And the dance sketch with host Steve Martin and Gilda—excuse me, but I think I have something in my eye.

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