It’s practically a rite of passage at this point for celebrities of all kinds to, at some point in their career, make a foray into the world of fashion; seemingly every week brings about the announcement of a new celebrity-designer collaboration or the launch of an actress’s high-end ad campaign. And with increasing frequency, actresses, singers, and models are encroaching even further into the world of style with gigs as commentators: Jessica Simpson and Nicole Richie both took part in the two-season experiment that was Fashion Star; Kelly Osbourne has become a permanent fixture on E!’s Fashion Police; Rihanna just up and created her own show—Styled to Rock—roping in Pharrell Williams and Erin Wasson to take part as judges. And now former The Hills villainess Kristin Cavallari is wading into the fashion-critiquing waters, with the premiere of her new show The Fabulist.
While the aforementioned A- and B-listers have had varying levels of success with these endeavors, it got us thinking: who would we love to see behind a judge’s table, nodding at a successful cutout with hesitant approval, or shaking her head at an unfortunate hemline?
Here are our suggestions:
Jennifer Lawrence. This one is almost too obvious. We know she doesn’t really care about fashion—or, at least, she doesn’t want us to think that she does—but America’s reigning Sweetheart is Dior’s “muse” at the moment, wearing the label’s dresses at all major events. And that’s enough fashion pedigree for us! Frankly, we just want to hear J. Law ramble about weird frills and confounding patterns—and whatever else she’d want to talk about. (Considering J. Law’s avowed distaste for Fashion Police, the likelihood of this particular dream seems unlikely, but that will not deter us!)
Victoria Beckham. Posh Spice is a legitimate fashion power player at this point thanks to her eponymous lines, so any input she would impart would come from a place of actual knowledge and experience. Also, as evidenced by her social-media presence, she has a sardonic, appealing sense of humor. Plus, if she wanted to bring her husband along to do guest commentary, we would certainly not complain.
Lauren Conrad. The reality-television legend—who we all know as the Girl Who Didn’t Go To Paris—has a sympathetic and sharp on-screen persona. And since leaving television, she has tried to build up a fashion empire. This combination of industry prowess and “tells it like it is” verve would make her an ideal judge or commentator (and you just know she DVR’d The Fabulist for hate-watching purposes and must be viscerally itching to show K. Cav how it’s done).
Lupita Nyong’o. The beautiful, smart, and fashion-savvy Oscar winner can literally do whatever she wants at this point (we’re pretty sure if she asked Barack Obama if he wouldn’t mind letting her take over for a few months, he’d be cool with that), so it’s unlikely she’d decide to start assessing celebrity fashion foibles on television right now, but she has yet to make a mistake on the red carpet and we’re going to include her on this list!
Kate Middleton. We learned the other day that one of our co-workers had no idea what Kate Middleton’s voice sounded like! Imagine if Kate was given the chance to judge, like, Britain’s Best Fashion Designer of All (we’re almost too good at devising names for fake fashion reality shows) alongside Kate Moss and Elton John. She could get to show off her personality, and it would be great! One “drawback,” though, might be that anything she wore on set would upstage all other clothes worn by any other humans on the show.
Sarah Jessica Parker. As close as we’re going to get to Carrie Bradshaw dispensing pearls of pun-filled fashion wisdom would be SJP in a commentator role on television. If we had forgotten just how wry and charming she can be, the recent Vogue video in which she skillfully answered 73 rapid-fire questions served as a reminder.
Blake Lively. Blake, Blake, Blake. The two-time Vogue cover girl and Gucci spokesmodel has been disappointingly M.I.A. since marrying Ryan Reynolds. We miss you, S. (Sorry, we still haven’t come to terms with Gossip Girl ending.) Blake seems like she’d be an earnest commentator who would take the proceedings really seriously and use a lot of fashion buzzwords, and it would be very amusing, and we want it to happen!
James Franco. Franco taking a regular gig as a fashion commentator seems like the kind of thing he just might actually do, right? And it wouldn’t even crack the top 10 of Unexpected Franco Career Choices.